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Submitted by Layla (Ireland), Apr 25, 2013 at Hello i decided to post as a back up for Nourshehane's Questions. im sure we have all lightly tapped our best buddys or our spouses, this is the light tap i mean.. Engagement, for PRACTICING muslims, is a time where couples get to know each other. He shouldnt treat you any different, even if you are western and he knows western women are more open, he will see you as he sees women by his cultural standards and he will instinctively want to protect you from bad judgement of others. If he says that he doesnt care about this, he is not a practicing Muslim, and you should not judge him by the religious virtue he claims to have. It is true that he will be a little weird about letting you, but let me put some perspective on this for you. Men with multiple mail addresses hang themselves eventually.. This is normal as there are a lot of stereotypes about the western culture also. Personally, i feel that a family having reservations about someone from a diff culture is a normal reaction, as my family had reservations about him too at the start. There is no man in egypt who wud take a wife twice his age. I Just want you to have the savvy to know the difference. If you are going to be sucked in, give yourself a chance !!
Her Questions are indeed questions you should consider.. My plane tickets and expenses were all paid for when i travelled to Egypt. it can be quite common for engagements to be broken. Engagement in the west is like a promise, you are nearly sure you would marry, in Egypt it is like an good intention only. He will offer you a dowry or it is perfectly plausible for you to ask for one. Pretend you are ignorant about the fact its a shame.. You are his responsibility when you are in Egypt, and for a foreign woman walking around on her own, it can be quite weird.. Sometimes when an egyptian man wont let you out alone, he will be in protective mode. You will b in foreign country not knowing your way around, the traffic, language and the mentality of people etc You may go into a shop for example and be seriously overcharged.. In saying that, if you want to go out, he will go with you, he wont say no to actually going out.,he will just be weird about you going out alone. If you have a user name for skype or msn, for example [email protected], try the same user name on a yahoo mail .. I think that its a good sign because it means that everything is serious!!! I promise you, they will love you if you are honest. Get urself sucked in under the right conditions lol . All the above applies in determining his character and are not stereotypes..
I am not here to judge anyones situation tell you mine.. IF he has asked you for money , forget him An honourable Egyptian man,will never ask a woman for money. From his ego point of view, he would fear others thinking him worthless having to scrounge off his wife etc They fancy themselves as providers, with the ability to take care of his wife and family. When we were living apart, he gave me an ATM card on his current account to access funds. Sometimes when you use toilets in Egypt there are attendants working on tips basis. but the disciplinary action in Islam is extremely light.. Lets touch upon sexual relations and discuss realistically.. he wont approach an egyptian woman for marriage without money, and a good job etc . Egyptian men are notoriously protective of women, When on the street, he will walk on the traffic side. IF you met him online, chances are he could be sweet talking another woman at the same time hahahah. You will probably think im a bit nuts after giving you the following tips but i dont care. There was an open and honest discussion and i was always kept in the loop. Honesty is not a common trait in Egypt so it is appreciated and respected. Realistically speaking, no one can really make a judgement on your egyptian man, because they dont know him.. I have given u facts.nourshehanes questions absolutely have to be considered.. Note: Opinions expressed in comments are those of the authors alone and not necessarily those of Daniel Pipes. Comments are screened and in some cases edited before posting.
From a religious point of view, he is not allowed to ask his wife for money. I had my own money but this was irrelevant, he gave me an allowance for myself every month. You will be even given a few egyptian pounds for the tip for the attendant. Im sure it happens as it does in the west but mark my words, you are not allowed to beat the crap out of her or even slap her face. so he shouldnt approach you without meeting this criteria either. If it makes you a little more knowledgable about the character of the man ur dealing with.. Be aware, family are hugely involved in each others lives in egypt. NO one here can tell you whether he is fake or genuine. Reasoned disagreement is welcome but not comments that are scurrilous, off-topic, commercial, disparaging religions, or otherwise inappropriate.
When i say he will pay i mean he will pay ALL your expenses ALLLLLLLLLLLLL.. I know i will face crap over saying this for sure.. He will come to your country to visit you or should at least try.. you can regard me as nuts all you wish hahahaha there is an app that actually works on the internet.. You type in a yahoo mail address and see if he is online chatting on the yahoo messanger application. if u normally talk on msn or skype for example, you can always say ur msn wont open and ask him if he has got yahoo !! if you have had no interaction with them forget the man !! For complete regulations, see the "Guidelines for Reader Comments".
When discussing religion, it is important to note that practicing Muslim men are subject to rules in the treatment of women. Sometimes visit visas are hard to get, but, if he has the funds required to marry in the first place, and the good job required to marry in the first place, he can apply.. I gave him a letter confirming i knew him but i refused to give bank statements showing details of finances. This only works for yahoo addresses but it does work.
Only a tap is allowed and this was referenced in the Quran, purely so there would be no injustice and because the Quran references every subject.sensitive ones. Engagement in Egypt is not like engagement in the west. Kissing is not allowed either, but sometimes there are small moments of weaknesses and it does happen even with Arab women ( i know this as fact), but it will be a small peck, not a passionate kiss and it will be stolen quickly. I hope you understand what im trying to get across here. Ive seen some posts about women not being allowed to go out when they are in Egypt . They are a normal family and as a normal family, they had concerns in the beginning when my husband informed them that he was going to approach me for marriage. For example i gave up alcohol and pork, and he will take part in the non religious aspect of christmas with my family ( the dinner etc) and i put up a tree..