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Through a tumultuous seven seasons – Fox stopped airing the show in 2003 and Comedy Central revived it in 2008 – the dim-witted delivery boy and his 31st century pals have crossed paths with bizarre aliens and devious robots, sparked up romantic entanglements, and occasionally traveled through time.To commemorate the show's last huzzah, co-developer/executive producer/head writer David X. I'm working at my restaurant job, but should be off around 11 p.m. I know that one.) He seems a little edgy off the top. Finally, my date busts out his phone, and pulls something up on his browser to show us. I don't know why he would show us these to prove how "nice" he is. She grabs my hand, and I follow her and her fellow TFC fans towards the door. That still gives me three hours of legal drinking and a chance to squish in a Tinder date. Flashing a blood donor card would have been a better move. (Don't worry, even when time is precious, I still do a thorough job on my side duties.) My first choice of Tinder for tonight is unavailable, so I move on, searching for a last minute date. All of a sudden, I have a flashback to that character on Newhart, who had two brothers named Darryl.

One of my matches sends me this charming message: He'll do. He's got a narrow face, very defined cheekbones, and big eyes.

He's originally from Scarborough, but now lives on King West*. I'm wearing a belt, but no belt is powerful enough to cover up my booty cleavage.

He suggests meeting at the Done Right Inn, a charming, perchance dive bar, on Queen West. I swear my ass is higher up on my body than other peoples'. When you only have three hours until last call, you can't mess around with the TTC.

It's a cash only bar, but they do accept Canadian Tire money. He messages me that he's on the back patio, next to the giant tree.

He also warns me there are tonnes of obnoxious TFC fans.

It does seem as though TFC fans are the drunkest of all Torontonians.